Home Sweet Home

I couldn't do it. I am all about closure. The idea of leaving this site just lingering, pending, unfinished, hanging…. Ah! It is enough to give me a twitch. I had to finish this up with some good closing remarks. So here it goes.

Firstly Guatemala was my last trip and quite an experience.

I have to be honest. I walked into it with a bit of a bad attitude. I mean I had to tear myself away from Costa Rica. Let me tell you, it was a messy scene. 7:30am. All of the families in the street loading luggage into the greyhound bus. Giving last hugs. Crying and Crying. Taking another picture and then crying more. Lots of snot to say the least. Gosh, goodbyes are painful.

So I walked into Guatemala with this fresh in my mind, not really wanting to see any other country thank you very much. But within 2 days I got over myself, charmed by the magic of Guatemala and delved into the experience. And it was beautiful.

Upon arrival, we divided into groups and were sent to different NonGovernement Organizations to do a research project. The assignment involved not only sending these organizations free labor (who can’t use a couple of well-abled good looking college students for something), but we also we acted as representatives of a Latin American Fund willing to donate a $1,000 grant to a deserving organization. We were assigned to put together a presentation/ proposal recommending at the end of our time there advising how/ if the money should go to our assigned organization. I spent a week at Agua Viva home for children in Chimaltenango Gautemala. It was such a great experience. See pictures. It was a cool opportunity of work and pleasure, playing with the children but also watching to see how the place was managed. If anyone wants a recommendation of a good organization to donate money or sponsor a child, talk to me. These kids are great. Not the typical, “oh you are white and visiting me, where is the candy” type of kids. This place is amazing – truly helping families in poverty to raise their children. Also I really enjoyed the practice in this type of grant proposal/NGO work.

We ended our time in Guatemala and headed to Miami for a reentry workshop. Quite appropriate seeing that it is the capital of Latin America. I felt right at home. Reentry workshop sounds cheezy but was a life saver. It was time to spend last moment with the friends that have become ever so dear to me as well as to prepare for North American culture shock.

With that and tears I got a plane. Well, I tried to get on a plane. I was stopped. Lets say I went a little overboard with the souvenirs. Like I had 4 carry-ons. The short, stout woman at security did not like this too much. She told me to go check a bag. I said, no way, Jose. And I turned my little self right around and went into a re-organizing frenzy!  Pottery, coffee, underwear and some of those pretty rocks I found on the beach in Costa Rica where strewn all over the floor.  I shoved and tied and hooked and crammed all item onto my one backpack, until my bag was unrecognizable. I had shoes and sweaters and the now 2 empty bags and a towel hanging off all sides of my backpack. I confidently and a little smugly reapproached my "friend" at security and she gave me a condescending look and told me I to go put my monstrosity of a bag in the little metal size checker. I swaggered over to the little thing praying and sweating. And By God, I got it in. She gave me a reluctant, roll of the eyes and a go ahead. And I proudly reached down to get my bag out of the size checker only to find it just the slight bit stuck. I sat there for 2 minutes pulling and straining to get it out. Thankfully the woman had turned away.

My arrival at the KC airport turned out to be quick the scene. I was met with signs, banners, songs, screams, hugs and kisses. Not to mention a group of my crazy friends surprised me dressed up as …well…I am not quite sure what they were suppose to be. But they did a bit of a musical performance in the middle of the baggage claim. The rest of the airport thought we were complete psychos And I was pleased.

Now I am home. Attending graduation parties, bbqs, get-togethers. Slowly my stories and experiences are flowing out. " One time when I was in Costa Rica....”

It has been funny. I have gotten a few "Pam-ohmigosh you are back. How was Puerto Rico?" To which I kindly respond that it was Costa Rica not Puerto Rico and it was lovely thank you. But I have to be honest, I am loving being here. Kansas City is great, my family is a blast, and I don’t deserve my friends. I went down to JBU to visit with friends there as well and so enjoyed that time even though a few did ask me how Mexico was. While I think I will probably be in Latin American again in the near future, for now, this is where I am suppose to be. Life is life wherever you are. And for now it is North America with all of its joys and experiences. Right now, it is the summer job quandary again. The best option seems at this point to go door-to-door selling smelling salts. I hear there is good money in that. But we will see, it is an adventure right?

So for now, I am here. Sitting in Lee’s Summit Public Library in Missouri writing this b/c our computer at home has a virus and using it causing the most intense rage to overcome me that even God turns his face from me. I must say, what a nice place the public library is. I am loving this free internet access. The down side. There is a heavy breather sitting next to me talking to herself….mmm kind of gross.

Thank you to all who read this and kept up. It means the world. Hopefully I will see each of you in the near future and exchange stories and life.

Until I see you again…

Much love…

Pamela

p.s check out my last slew of pictures

Coming to a close...

I am feeling all into headings today… bear with me.

Photos

First, I just wanted to say that I put some photos up of Cuba. Unfortunately they are not my photos. My camera is still in Cuba, but I got some pictures from friends so I could give you an ever so little taste of my experience. Enjoy.

The end

So my time in Costa Rica is coming to a close. I have exactly a week and a half left. I still have two weeks to spend in Guatemala but my time in this new home of mine is over in just a week and a half. I have to be honest. I constantly have had tears in my eyes. The thought of leaving is quite quite sad. It has been a beautiful, changing experience and I don´t feel like it should be over. I still have more to glean here. But I am determined to milk these last 10 days for all they are worth.

Family

I am soaking up the time with my family. Spent all day Saturday with them going around with my Dad while he worked. Long story but it ended up being 7 hours waiting in grocery store parking lots. Hey but quality time is quality time.

I had a fun time with my mom and sisters last night. My dad is out of town on business so it was just the girls yesterday. I danced around in the house with my sister to my new Cuban CD blaring. Then we all crashed in my moms bedroom for the night. While my sisters drifted off to sleep my mom talked to me about love, romance and marriage- great advice from a wise Latina woman. So lovely. So classic.

A story

Ready for my latest great story… ok so recently one of my professors told us students that she had received an invitation to attend the movie the Lord of War at a theatre here in Costa Rica. It was to be an event put on by a non profit organization. She could not go but she said we were more than welcome to and that it should be a good opportunity. So a bunch of us rag-tag college students tromp to the movie theatre ready to see a free movie. I walked in  to the theatre to scope out the scene. I was met with a dozen very professionally dressed business people, waiters dressed in tuxedos serving coffee and juice and a table full of reading material on the arms trade treaty. I looked around to see if I was in the right place only to be met with a woman who wanted to verify if my name was on the INVITE list!! Yikes. I explained to her who we were and how we were invited. After a few polite remarks about what this event was all about she welcomed me and the friends in.  I smoothed my hair best as I could and walked in. From there I worked my magic. I hobnobbed with people from the Arias foundation, asking very intelligent questions about their work and their time in Costa Rica, getting information and recourses from them. Very helpful. After 30 mins of this I walked into the theatre and sat down very sophisticatedly behind dignitaries, diplomats and ambassadors. I turned my head very slightly to the left to converse nicely with my fellow classmate, in my quiet library voice. Then all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye I saw cameras in the doorway and guess who walks in? The President of Costa Rica. Oh yes. With a few handshakes and nods he sat downs two rows behind me. So naturally, I proceeded to sit back to enjoy the  film, ya know just chillin with the ole Pres, my friend Oscar Arias. The movie if you have not scene it is extremely intense, violent, controversial, and very political. It shook me up, and gave me enough things to digest and process with my classmates for the next 2 hours. But besides that I couldn´t get over the fact that I was able to watch it with the leaders of countries. It was the coolest experience!!

Dance

I have started taking dance classes at a local place in the next town. It is a blast!  People young and old are in this class. Our teacher is a hoot.  We learn certain steps for the first hour and then the second hour we get with partners and try our new steps out. Every song you dance with a new partner. It is hilarious- I have had a psycho-hips boy who was just going crazy spinning and shaking, elbows all flaring, and hips popping out of socket every now and again. Then I had a very large young man who just sort of rocked back and forth, never looking at me, but twirling me every now and again ever so slowly. I dreaded that b-c every time he lifted his arm I got a wiff. I had a sweet old man with his handkerchief out his back pocket who was determined to show me  the RIGHT way to spin. Very patient. Ah man I love it.

Class

Class is great. Interesting. The focus of these past few weeks has been faith and praxis. It is intriguing to read about and process what it means to truly live out the things I believe in. Challenging, indeed.

Me

Happy and pensive. trying to prepare myself for transition. And gearing up for my last few days of this adventure....Alas..... more to come ...

Cuba

But I stayed long enough to hear more of the story. I got to step behind the reality that is so often portrayed of Cuba. I peek behind the curtain of this ongoing drama that and I saw some amazing things. There is so much to the story of Cuba.

I got to see this story when we traveled.

We visited Havana a beautiful city, with massive Cathedrals, old fortresses, and miles and miles of Coast border by a thick wall where at any moment of any day you will see couples, friends, teenage groupies all sitting, talking, shooting the breeze, enjoying some good Havana Club Rum. We went to Matanzas -the Athens of Cuba they say. Full of art, music and dancing. I saw some AMAZING dancing, both professionally on the stage and in the local clubs.We went to Playa Veredero -the purest form of beach I have ever seen. Crystal clear water, the quintessence of white sand

I heard the story all over as I listened to the people.

I attached myself to our translator and our guide and bombarded them with questions upon questions. About socialism, communism, the blockade of the U.S, Castro, Che, rations, everyday life. I couldn´t get enough. By the end of the trip I started to noticed panic in their eyes everytime I started toward them with a smile on my face and sentence that started with "What about...."

I listened to the diplomats of the United States Interests Seccion office. And I listened to Cuban Congress members. I listed to Pastors and NGO workers. I listened to groups of teenagers on the streets. They all tell a different part of the story.

Cuba is still an enigma to me. There is way too much to try to understand.

It is a place so different than anything I have ever experienced.

But I loved it.

P.S

A Change of Pace

This week has been about adjusting to life back in Costa Rica after my little jaunt in Nicaragua, and by adjusting I mean I jumped into finals week. Presentations, group projects, research, exams, study sessions the whole nine yard. It is the end of the first portion of the course. From here on out we break up into smaller concentrations –Science, Literature and Latin American Studies. I am the last one, the more broad, international relations type concentration.

I am exhausted but pleased.  I finished a 10 page paper on Latin American Immigration to the United States, did a group project on Latin American and U.S relations, took a killer essay exam and still managed to go for a day hike in the mountains of another province in Costa Rica, attend a Costa Rican profession soccer game again a U.S team from LA and plan a Spring Break trip for this weekend to a beach on the Pacific Coast of Costa Rica

 see the pics...

Two stories about these things

#1  The Soccer Game

I have never been more aware of what it feels like to be a minority. There we were.

5 white gringos sitting in the front row waving our American flag, cheering for the Americans, surrounded by thousands and thousands and thousands of Costa Rican fans…. a sea of purple with drums, flags, scarves, singing quite loudly such nice things about our goaly, and raising lots of middle fingers to the air at our team. Oh yes…. It was quite an experience. But we did not betray our country. The 5 of us stood there in all the persecution strong and tall, cheering and supporting our boys. And then the  cameras noticed us and put us on TV and I was happy.  Yes, may God bless America.

#2 Group projects

You know when you see on the syllabus the words “Group Project” that your life just got 10 times more complicated then it EVER should be. Good Looorrd!!

This group I had to work with in my most recent project tops all other group projects.

The topic : U.S. and Latin American relations

The group: 5 strong-willed, very diverse, opinioned American women and

one radical Albanian woman who no one really ever understands exactly what she is trying to say

Holy geez watch out!!

We argued from the beginning to the very end. I am talking full out yelling. There was none of that normal nicey-nice stuff. You know what I mean, the qualifiers!!!! “ I see your point, and I am not trying to hurt your feeling and feel free to disagree with me, but maybe, if you want to, we could do it this way..” Oh no… it was talking on top of each other, and the shaking heads, the wagging fingers, and even a couple pounding fists on the table.

But let me tell you… it was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my studies.  I rarely meet other women who are just as feisty and ready to hash something out as I am. Each time we met we came fully loaded to state our piece and defend it. But it went somewhere. We argued things that mattered. Drug trafficking in Columbia, land reform in Guatemala, the United States and Cuba, role of government, the priority of human rights, faith in practice. It was an amazing sharpening of opinions, knowledge and ability to argue fairly. I emerged from this experience loving these other women and ready to do at it again. And did a pretty darn good presenation as well.

I am heading to the beach for the weekend. Playa Samara if you want to find it on the map.

This coming Wednesday I leave for 2 weeks for Cuba. I am just starting to do my research on this country and the more I read the more thrilled I am. It is going to be quite the experience.

Overall, things are well. It is the half way point and I feel like I just arrived.

You are all in my thoughts.

The Land of Paradox

Just got back from Nicaragua and I was pretty much untouched by the millions of bacterium that would have loved to prey on my intestines. I would love to thank my strong immune system for this but I know it was the warring prayers of my mother that stopped those little creatures in their tracks.

I saw the hundreds of people living in a smoldering dump full of toxic smoke, sorting plastics out of the trash for their well being, and then went to a mall to get icecream and "process" the experience.

I heard about the horrors of the war of the 1980´s from a Catholic nun while looking at the depiction of this time in graphic murals and then turned around to tell a friend how hot and tired I was.

I criticized the United States for the wrong they have done to the country of Nicarauga but then thanked my lucky stars I wasn´t born into a Nicaraguan family.

I saw a country still experiencing the affects of an earthquake that occurrred several years ago, worn-torn and full of poverty but also some of the most beautiful countryside I have ever seen.

The family I stayed with was very blunt about their poverty, but they stuffed me so full of food I couldn´t handle it.

I went to a beautiful Nicaraguan theatre with the upper class of Nicaragua to see a gripping play about the plight of a Nicaraguan immigrant of all things. ( which by the way, changed my life).

Not so sure how you grapple with these giant paradoxes. They are such a reality in Nicaragua. I am writing papers and essays about what I saw and journaling my brains out but there really aren´t easy answers. I just keep asking questions.

Snap Shots

-Travel to and from Costa Rica to Nicaraugua- 20 hour bus ride.

-Tour of the cities of Masaya and Grenada- which I loved the most- 5 hours

-Travel to our village (And by travel I mean on a bus and by bus I mean school bus and by school bus I mean a body to body Nicaraguans in every seat and in the aisles with a blessed little girl throwing up at our feet, on a dirt roads with such big potholes the bus would slow to a walking speed and lurch side to side through the holes.) 12 hours ( I am not kidding)